When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God --Isaiah 43:2-3
So many times I've questioned certain circumstances
And Things I did Not Understand
So many times in trials
Weakness blurs my vision and my frustration gets so out of hand
Its then I am reminded I've never been forsaken
I've never had to stand the test alone
That's when I look at all my victories and I'm reminded of all God's done for me
And its Through The Fire my weakness is made strong.
He never promised the cross would not get heavy
The hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered the victory without fighting
He said help would always come in time
Remember when you're standing in the valley of decision
And the adversary says give in
Hold on our Lord will show up and he'll take you through the fire again.
I know withing myself that I will surely perish,
But if I trust the hand of God he'll shield the flames again...
Its hard for me to talk about, because I don't like giving all my info like some people but about 9 months ago it seemed alot of trials, problems and frustrations came on like they so often do, not one at a time so I can deal with them, but like a flood. I wasn't singing as often ans some of my peers and that was upsetting, I was having problems and fighting with my then girlfriend/best friend/pianist and the person in whom (and this was a mistake because I shifed from God being) had become the rock of my ministry, then while in Tennesse I get this call saying after 26 years my biological parents were coming out of the woodwork, the only real mentor I've ever had in this ministry passed away the next week, the next day my pianist/web designer/girlfriend/bestfriend/ect. Calls and tells me she's going elsewhere. I was lost and well...my frustrations began getting out of hand and boy was my weakness showing through.
Webster defines frustration "the state or instance of being frustrated...a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs. WOAH! Just listen to the words associated there: Chronic...insecurity...dissatisfaction...unresolved...unfulfilled. Frustration is had hard row to hoe! I've been carrying this around on my back long enough, the longer I'm shackled to this burden the heavier it becomes and the more frustrated I become and its a vicious cycle and I'm sick of wallowing in self-pity.
I realized last night why God puts people in your life. To help you. God did this through a man he put there early on in my ministry my first duet partner Jason Crabb. I heard through the fire and picked up his book and there written was something very similar. He talked about his trials and frustrations and I remembered a person God put in my life at this weird trasition frustrated point whom in the last couple weeks I've shouted at and demeaned and just been an outright jerk to and that Ms. Megan Cox.
When everything went down at once God had Meg there to help see me through. We connected, she understood what I was going through and got me to the point where I was ready to come back and deal wit Ith my frustrations and in that I've now got a relationship with my biological father and my little sister, betut the devil isn't done frustrating me yet.
I love my friends here in Missouri, but I feel God called me to sing, and I haven't been doing that like I was when I was in Texas, and I've a HUGE event Meg and I are booked on in January, but we need to be together practicing, and I've been worried, angry, and frustrated. I've had a hard time finding work ect. I thought I was going to be part of a quartet but it seems those plans have changed. I cried out to God last night like I never have before and I just kept hearing Hold On I'll show up and take you through this one too.
I then thought of the way god uses that word THROUGH. He never promised to get us around these obstacles or the fire but Through. God knows what he's doing. In Jeremiah he tells us he knows his plans are to prosper us and give us a future. And hey he's the same guy that says with Him before you no weapon will prosper and no one can be against you AMEN!
Since these are MY ramblings, I want to pray. Maybe you need to too, maybe you're in the dark, maybe you're worried about keeping the power on for the kids at night, maybe you're unemployed and worried about sleeping in the car or on the street, maybe you've had a loss of a child or loved one and you just want to know why. Pray with me:
Father, I don't know why I'm going through this, but I know your grace is sufficient. I know you're holding my hand and you'll get me through it unscathed. I trust in you fully and completely and I want your will for my life, I seek your guidance Lord in EVERYTHING I might say and do. Give me the strength watch over me and protect me. I pray in Jesus name. AMEN!